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The Official Kids quotes thread

post #1 of 51
Thread Starter 
i love little kids quotes. and i love seeing them pop up on the forum/

lets hear em:






inspired by
Quote:
"When i grow up I want to be a Masterpiece!" my 6 yr.old Jason jr.
post #2 of 51
Haha, I thought this was gonna be quotes from the movie "Kids."
post #3 of 51
me: lets go, we're going eat.
nephew: where we eating?
me: not fast-food.
nephew: we going eat slow-food?

:P
post #4 of 51
"i want to be a grown-up"

biggest mistake in my life
post #5 of 51
Thats cool Dave, Thanks.....( he is my son with Autism, and he by far takes the cake in this household)
Kids say such awsome things


Nut, I literally Laughed Out Loud at that one!!!


I can't wait to see more!!!
post #6 of 51
My neighbor kid when he met our new puppy:
"Oh OH! my dog used to be a puppy!!!"
post #7 of 51
Derek Zoolander: Well, I guess it started during my first year of the second grade, when I was eating lunch and caught my reflection in a spoon, and I thought to myself, 'Hey, Derek, you're ridiculously good looking! And I thought maybe I could do that for a career.
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.
post #8 of 51
The School pageant where my girls go to school.

Announcer:" Of you could be one of your parents for the day, who would it be, and why?

Alex( 7 yrs old.): " My mom cuz den I could tell my daddy what to do allllll day long"

Yes she won the pageant!! :P
post #9 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hera
The School pageant where my girls go to school.

Announcer:" Of you could be one of your parents for the day, who would it be, and why?

Alex( 7 yrs old.): " My mom cuz den I could tell my daddy what to do allllll day long"

Yes she won the pageant!! :P


lmao
post #10 of 51
my 3 yr old nephew says "don't poke me like a meatball" if you poke him because that's what he does to meatballs with his chopsticks
post #11 of 51
WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2 Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice
in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she
married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get on
beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO
to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a
lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who
did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those
invisible eyes on her back.
post #12 of 51
Thread Starter 
my buddy mark. who is handicapped and speaks like a child sometimes.

Mark: so where are you gonna live next year?
Friend: New Mexico
Mark: pauses...

Mark: Cancun huh. thats cool.
post #13 of 51
Ralph Wiggum: "I want to graduate from Bovine University."

Kid in my Chinese Restaurant : "I wish we LIVED here!"
post #14 of 51
My 4 year old sis while playing with markers: "It ran out of gas"(ink was out)

"Why are the trees turning to bananas?" (noticing the fall leaves turning yellow)

I love it when she quotes Brian Regan too:"Hookked on phonics wor-ked for meh"

My uncle when he was a kid:

his mom: "Tim your underwear seem awfully thin in the back"

uncle: "That's because I scratch there too much" haha
post #15 of 51
^ lol. that was cute
post #16 of 51
My husband as a little boy..

What's your name Kenny? "Three"
How old are you? "Kenny"
post #17 of 51
My son (at 4) ~ "Mom, do we have any batteries?"
Me ~ "Nope."
My son (after a few moments of silence) ~ "Do we have any gooderies?"

Also at that age, we had a problem one night with him constantly getting in the fridge for yogurt, cheese, fruit, etc. and I finally told him if he got the fridge again, he would be put to bed. Minutes later he walks right by me to the kitchen and I give him "the look".

My son ~ "Im not going to eat anything. I just want to see what the cheese is doing."
post #18 of 51
This JUST happened.LOL

My 7 yr. old.and 6 yr.old were fighting, well my 6 yr.old gets hit by my 7 yr.old.

THEN my 2 yr.old ( Iyan) starts to tell me the story

" Sayge jus hwit Gi-Gi( my 6's nickname) like dis..."* he hits himself*
Starts CRYING and says " Iyan jus hit Iyan!" CRYING THE WHOLE TIME!!!
post #19 of 51
Me: Morgan, why do you do things I ask you not to?

Him {he is 7}: Mommy, sometimes I just cant help myself!
post #20 of 51
hera - too cute!!!!
post #21 of 51
'Uncle Cal, I just ate TWELVE pieces of sushi!"

he's not fat either...
post #22 of 51
Awww . . . these are so cute and funny ~ love reading them!
post #23 of 51
same here! i want kids now! keep em coming
post #24 of 51
One of my kids at work, "Hey, Sarah, you know how my cat eats? He makes a mess just like me!"
post #25 of 51
According to my mother I told her that I would never french kiss because I wasn't french!
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