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the homosexual thread - Page 2

post #26 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by wespeakchic
Quote:
Originally Posted by mgoose
I guess to be honest it's like that, most of the gay guys I'm friends with, are pretty laid back about it. I disliked people for whom being gay was their only personality trait, I worked with a guy like that and it was annoying. I understand your gay, but hopefully there's more to you then that.

Hopefully that doesn't sound too bad
Agreed! Sexuality isn't a badge that you carry around to tell the world "Hey i'm gay and that's why i'm special", i don't like people who do that at all. If you're a great person, then whether you're gay or straight, prefer chocolate or vanilla icecream, drink coke or pepsi doesn't matter--you're still a great person to hang out with.
lol well said, much more eloquent then am I, and sounded less offensive
post #27 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by admin
straight.
but thanks for the invite.

Quote:
My friend was gay bashed...
what does that mean...was he physically assaulted or verbally?


thanks so much for your post. i appreciate you being so straightforward with us.
haha straightforward.
(sorry)
post #28 of 278
it's clear that some of the gay people on this board would agree that it's something you pretty much realize you are etc etc.
but what about people who marry a member of the opposite sex, divorce and start dating a member of the same sex then possibly go back and forth.
i too am tired of the labels 'gay' and 'straight'. but i do consider myself 'mostly straight'.
anyway i guess the questions is: with the existence of scenarios such as the one i mentioned above, is homosexuality an orientation or a preference? naturally the politically correct theory (and the one that i pretty much believe) is that it's an orientation.. but what do you guys think?
i actually believe that for some it's an orientation and for some it's the occasional preference.
lots of gay men are simply gay and that's that. they're not sexually attracted to women and they're not going to change. then there's the guy who's married to/dating a women but goes out on weekends looking for a dude to hook up with at the local gay club. is he gay? straight? bi? or is he simply just 'sexual' and enjoys feeling good without any regard for the other person's gender? i don't think it's a question that can easily be answered.
post #29 of 278
I have been with both women and men, but I definitely prefer men over women. I have never really labeled myself as bisexual though because to be honest I am not sure I could fall in love with a woman. I find both sexes beautiful.
post #30 of 278
im not sure if this is common knowledge, but i heard they uncovered some scientific reasonings(DNA coding maybe?) for sex preferences in human beings. not sure if thats really the decisive factor though, if it really exists anyway.
post #31 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by jetsetter
then there's the guy who's married to/dating a women but goes out on weekends looking for a dude to hook up with at the local gay club. is he gay? straight? bi? or is he simply just 'sexual' and enjoys feeling good without any regard for the other person's gender? i don't think it's a question that can easily be answered.
ahah, is that you in the future?

i dont want to answer any questions; they give me headaches. ill figure it all out later on.
post #32 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by outdoorzgirl
I have been with both women and men, but I definitely prefer men over women.
i feel the same way [as of right now].
post #33 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by hajichan13
im not sure if this is common knowledge, but i heard they uncovered some scientific reasonings(DNA coding maybe?) for sex preferences in human beings. not sure if thats really the decisive factor though, if it really exists anyway.
The idea that our psyche is tooled according to specific tenets of science freaks me out immensely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jetsetter
the guy who's married to/dating a women but goes out on weekends looking for a dude to hook up with at the local gay club. is he gay? straight? bi? or is he simply just 'sexual' and enjoys feeling good without any regard for the other person's gender? i don't think it's a question that can easily be answered.
I like think that in a perfect world, gay and straight would have no meaning, because a relationship is merely something that takes two people who are different in and of themselves, and places them together. And relationships (again this assumes a perfect world) are inherently without conceptions of "bi", "straight" or "gay".
post #34 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by jetsetter
then there's the guy who's married to/dating a women but goes out on weekends looking for a dude to hook up with at the local gay club. is he gay? straight? bi? or is he simply just 'sexual' and enjoys feeling good without any regard for the other person's gender? i don't think it's a question that can easily be answered.
it's called "down low" or DL, it's a pychological thing dealing w/ society's standards regarding sexuality, this is from I have learned in my gender and sexuality classes.
post #35 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by gospastic
i'm not gay, but i do like the feeling of things in my anus.
Whether or not you really mean that ...
post #36 of 278
post #37 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by wespeakchic
Quote:
Originally Posted by hajichan13
im not sure if this is common knowledge, but i heard they uncovered some scientific reasonings(DNA coding maybe?) for sex preferences in human beings. not sure if thats really the decisive factor though, if it really exists anyway.
The idea that our psyche is tooled according to specific tenets of science freaks me out immensely.
sorry if that bothered ya
post #38 of 278
wow i tried starting this kind of thread sometime ago, it failed.

just curious question...

when 2 men have sex? who decides to give and who decides to receieve?

does it usually get switched or it stays the same way throughout the entire relationship?
post #39 of 278
I read about a study a little while ago of gay men, straight men, and straight women. I don't think gay women were included and if they were I don't remember the results. Anyway they studied brain activity while showing these people different types of porn and interestingly enough the gay men had different parts of their brains light up from straight men...the same parts of the brain as straight women. And I think when they showed the gay men straight porn, there was less activity overall or something. Which of course made a good argument for the fact that gender preference is definable, and biological, but I think they were going to do more research.
post #40 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by jetsetter
it's clear that some of the gay people on this board would agree that it's something you pretty much realize you are etc etc.
but what about people who marry a member of the opposite sex, divorce and start dating a member of the same sex then possibly go back and forth.
i too am tired of the labels 'gay' and 'straight'. but i do consider myself 'mostly straight'.
anyway i guess the questions is: with the existence of scenarios such as the one i mentioned above, is homosexuality an orientation or a preference? naturally the politically correct theory (and the one that i pretty much believe) is that it's an orientation.. but what do you guys think?
i actually believe that for some it's an orientation and for some it's the occasional preference.
lots of gay men are simply gay and that's that. they're not sexually attracted to women and they're not going to change. then there's the guy who's married to/dating a women but goes out on weekends looking for a dude to hook up with at the local gay club. is he gay? straight? bi? or is he simply just 'sexual' and enjoys feeling good without any regard for the other person's gender? i don't think it's a question that can easily be answered.
Mybest gay bud always says "You're either gay, straight, or lying."

There was an interesting article in the NY times recently about a study where like 3000 men, about 1/3rd self-professed gay, 1/3rd self-professed bi, and the rest said they were straight. These men were shown images of nude men and women while hooked up to EKG machines. They found that the 'bi' men basically reacted either like the gay or straight men. In other words, they showed arousal with one or the other or not both.

Nothing conclusional but still interesting.
post #41 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by nxba
I read about a study a little while ago of gay men, straight men, and straight women. I don't think gay women were included and if they were I don't remember the results. Anyway they studied brain activity while showing these people different types of porn and interestingly enough the gay men had different parts of their brains light up from straight men...the same parts of the brain as straight women. And I think when they showed the gay men straight porn, there was less activity overall or something. Which of course made a good argument for the fact that gender preference is definable, and biological, but I think they were going to do more research.
I have read that study too. Also, studies have shown that if one identical twin is gay the other is significantly more likely to be gay as well, even if they were raised in different families.
post #42 of 278
I remember seeing that study too. I think i saw it on real sex or something like that.

When it comes to getting married and then comming out as gay, i think a lot of that has had to do with denile and people forcing themselves into a marriage to make family/friends/whatever happy.

With men homosexuality usually isn't a choice at all. With some women however, being gay was almost a political statement that was related to radical feminism. I myself did not choose to be gay since i can remember liking women since i was a kid. Although thats not to say i don't find men attractive, but i just couldn't be with a man (especially now that brad Pitt is ugly)

Interestingly enough, a lot of lesbians like gay male porn over all the types of porn out there. I haven't seen an explanation for that one at all.
post #43 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by blm14
Mybest gay bud always says "You're either gay, straight, or lying."

There was an interesting article in the NY times recently about a study where like 3000 men, about 1/3rd self-professed gay, 1/3rd self-professed bi, and the rest said they were straight. These men were shown images of nude men and women while hooked up to EKG machines. They found that the 'bi' men basically reacted either like the gay or straight men. In other words, they showed arousal with one or the other or not both.

Nothing conclusional but still interesting.
Hey Ben I remember that study also. Although didn't the "bi" men have the most similar arousal patterns to the gay men? But I could be remembering it wrong.

And yeah my Gay friends are the same way, they don't believe that guys are actually "bi"
post #44 of 278
I plan to go into genetic counseling so I have taken several DNA mapping courses. As for the "gay gene", researchers have tried and tried to determine a genetic link but have not been able to really find anything. They suspected one specific gene for a while but as they tested more and more self-professed gay men they found that very few actually had the gene they had been looking at. As it stands, no genetic link. Maybe in the future, but right now, that future looks bleak.
post #45 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by *kylie*
I plan to go into genetic counseling so I have taken several DNA mapping courses. As for the "gay gene", researchers have tried and tried to determine a genetic link but have not been able to really find anything. They suspected one specific gene for a while but as they tested more and more self-professed gay men they found that very few actually had the gene they had been looking at. As it stands, no genetic link. Maybe in the future, but right now, that future looks bleak.
i see, so my stuff must have been old. i was pretty sure it had something to do with genetics. interesting to see how they are doing these research though.
post #46 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by jetsetter
what about people who marry a member of the opposite sex, divorce and start dating a member of the same sex then possibly go back and forth.
I have no answers, or even theories, but that happened to a girl I was friends with in high school. I knew her for a while and her dad never seemed that interested in her mom (generally speaking). A couple years later he left them and has lived with his boyfriend since.
post #47 of 278
Thread Starter 
wow.

great responses. totally civil thread. i'm impressed.


i have met and known only a handful of homosexuals. of the maybe 10 that i know quite well, i would say that 6 or 7 are "hurting reallly badly". i don't know their dark corners, but i do see constant little signs that show that something is extremely painful deep down inside of them.


i was thinking about some of these people yesterday and the pain they go through.



and @Lindse, thanks so much for sharing your story!
post #48 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by admin
wow.

great responses. totally civil thread. i'm impressed.


i have met and known only a handful of homosexuals. of the maybe 10 that i know quite well, i would say that 6 or 7 are "hurting reallly badly". i don't know their dark corners, but i do see constant little signs that show that something is extremely painful deep down inside of them.


i was thinking about some of these people yesterday and the pain they go through.



and @Lindse, thanks so much for sharing your story!

I totally understand what you are saying about them "hurting really badly". Even though western society has come a long way there is still homophobia. Some people are really lucky to have very accepting parents and friends, and some have a really hard time with their families and have even been disowned. I also know that in particular there is a lot of drug addiction and drug use in homosexual communities. In the onewhere i live i can honestly say that a majority of the people i know that are gay have some sort of substance problem. I am not too sure why this is, but me and my girlfriend have some up with some theories that it is to escape the pain they may feel of rejection from friends and family. This brings me back to the episode of intervention with a guy who was gay and was addicted to meth. At the end of the show it said that he was tested positive for HIV. I almost cried at that point becuase of all the pain he must have felt. It make me feel so lucky that i really haven't had any problems like that and i appreciate my friends and family who accept me.

So far i haven't really told my parents. They are very traditional people and they still want me to marry a "nice jewish boy". MY mom also has the preconcieved notion that lesbians are "man hating butch dykes". i plan on telling them before grad school. I am pretty sure they have some ideas though. My girlfriend's mom knows and is totally and utterly cool with it. She is an Amazing woman who i get to see tomorow too!

Thank you guys so much for letting me share my story. I never really mentioned it before cuz it really is but just one small part of my life. I happen to be with a woman.....i also happen to really like clothing. In fact i think jeans make up more of my lfie then the gay community :P.
post #49 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by hajichan13
Quote:
Originally Posted by *kylie*
I plan to go into genetic counseling so I have taken several DNA mapping courses. As for the "gay gene", researchers have tried and tried to determine a genetic link but have not been able to really find anything. They suspected one specific gene for a while but as they tested more and more self-professed gay men they found that very few actually had the gene they had been looking at. As it stands, no genetic link. Maybe in the future, but right now, that future looks bleak.
i see, so my stuff must have been old. i was pretty sure it had something to do with genetics. interesting to see how they are doing these research though.
Genetics is always fascinating. From what I understand of the study, they were trying, of course this is gonna sound like duh, to prove that people don't choose to be gay, that it is nature and not nurture or something like that. And possibly a way of making the gay community more accepted b/c it would prove that it wasn't a choice that they made and aren't just trying to be different.
post #50 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by hajichan13
im not sure if this is common knowledge, but i heard they uncovered some scientific reasonings(DNA coding maybe?) for sex preferences in human beings. not sure if thats really the decisive factor though, if it really exists anyway.
If I'm correct, they've actually discovered some physical differences in the (I'm half guessing cause I can't remember!) GABA-A receptors and (?) Seratonin re-upake inhibitors in the brain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blm14
My best gay bud always says "You're either gay, straight, or lying."

There was an interesting article in the NY times recently about a study where like 3000 men, about 1/3rd self-professed gay, 1/3rd self-professed bi, and the rest said they were straight. These men were shown images of nude men and women while hooked up to EKG machines. They found that the 'bi' men basically reacted either like the gay or straight men. In other words, they showed arousal with one or the other or not both.

Nothing conclusional but still interesting.
Yeah... uh, I think I sorta agree with your friend. Most people I know who've "been" bi-sexual, have later decided that they are either just straight or gay. Honestly I really don't think that bi-sexual exists. I'd agree that maybe an extremely low percent of the population is actually bisexual, but the rest of people who claim to be bisexual are either one or the other.

Also, I know this will be controversial but I want to throw this out there--- what about the notion that many gay men were sort of "made" that way? Let me elaborate: it seems that many young men (especially men) who are victims of sexual trauma at an early age seem to become extremely sexually confused, and then later in life come out as gay. Now were those guys gay in the first place, when they were born? I guess we'll never know that. But perhaps they are a breed of gay man separate from those who are born gay.
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