or Connect
DenimBlog.com › Welcome to the DenimBlog Community! › General Topics › Chat › Does weight matter a lot to you in a relationship?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Does weight matter a lot to you in a relationship?

post #1 of 161
Thread Starter 
So there's this chick that I like. The only thing that's giving me doubts that I won't end up with her is that she weighs more than I do (at lease it looks like it). She's not fat or anything, she's just chubbier than I am? I'm taller than her though so that's good.

Usually when I see people together, I would see the guy being more taller and bigger than his gf. And whenever I see a guy shorter than his gf, I find that a bit awkward. But what about if the guy is taller and weighs less than his gf?

I really like her, but I don't know what to do.
post #2 of 161
Normally, when I go for someone -- it has a lot to do with who they are as a person. Just me though.

I suggest, if you like her. Go for it, what's stopping you but a little weight? It can be lost, and it certainly isn't a deal breaker in a relationship like a shitty personality is.
post #3 of 161
I think it depends on how healthy they r and the extent to whcih they care about it. I've seen heavy people who have great vital stats, good blood pressure, and strong hearts because they eat right and exercise.

I don't think you should just judge her purely on weight; factor in how well she actually cares about her health.
post #4 of 161
if you really do like her it shouldn't matter. if it did you wouldn't like her in the first place, right? my advice is to see how she looks naked and go from there, though...
post #5 of 161
depends if its a hog hunt
post #6 of 161
If you actually like her, I don't see why size should be an issue.
In my past relationship and when I was sorta seeing this guy, they both told me I was overweight with a "pretty face". My ex of two years told me that I was gaining too much weight and that he started losing attraction towards me. The other guy told me that I'm such a "beautiful person" but I just need to "work out a little". I'm obviously biased but I cannot express to you enough how shitty that made me feel to hear that. Although I acknowledge that I am short and chunky as a person who is 4'11 wearing a size 29, I really feel that it is very superficial and also contradictory of a person on some level to claim that they care about you but that your weight matters too much.
I'm sure in an ideal world nothing would matter but the person, but I'm curious to see how other male members respond to this thread.
post #7 of 161
Thread Starter 
It would be really noticeable that she weighs more than I do if we were standing next to eachother with just a t-shirt on.

I'm not judging her on her weight. I like her who she is, I have no problem with her whatsoever. What I meant in my original post was that I would feel really insecure about my weight because of the fact that she weighs more than I do. And I'm scared that she would turn me down because of that.
post #8 of 161
Oh. Then that's totally different. I love guys of all sizes. The last two guys I was with was like half my size and although I know I'm chunky-I'm not a giant...
post #9 of 161
SFAM, rest assured that Egotist and I wholeheartedly endorse this potential relationship!
post #10 of 161
i'm doubting how much you actually like this girl, and truly questioning why she should even like you in the first place. the issue is how well you two work together in a relationship, not the physical appearance. i really truly hope you didn't mean what this post implies, because i've actually been told that i was "visually unappealing" since i was larger than the guy i was seeing. i may be bigger, both physically and emotionally...since i got over him and realized someone who actually bases anything worth debating on WEIGHT isn't worth a second thought.

the fact that people still consider this makes me sad
post #11 of 161
It may seem very superficial but it also depends on your lifestyle and health choices versus what the other person does or is willing to do. If you are really into health and athletics, the person may feel that you are implicitly trying to send her a message or she may also be intimidated by the fact that you are a lean guy and she isn't. Her view of herself is also an important thing to consider. If she is insecure with herself, size, etc then you being a smaller guy may be something difficult for her to handle.

Someone may seem chunky, but it might be that you are comparing apples and oranges, i.e. you are used to dating small-framed women. There are many people who just simply have bigger frames and can never be what you might be comparing the person to.

Weight is not so much important than health, eating and lifestyle choices as 2venus pointed out previously. If you can deal with someone leading a different eating lifestyle than you then there shouldn't be a problem.

To flip it on you, are you comfortable being smaller than the girl or do you feel that it makes you less of a man to be the smaller one in a possible relationship? Do you feel that you need to have the weight to throw around to be the 'man' in the relationship?
post #12 of 161
okay fine SFAM, you redeemed yourself. but i still mean what i posted above and judge anyone shallow enough to let this thought cross their mind.
post #13 of 161
Yes, see how she looks naked, lol!

Really, though, the weight thing really doesn't matter at all. What's important is that you are attracted to her (and it sounds like you are!!!)

I say go for it. There are more important things that will define your relationship than weight...
post #14 of 161
if she loves you, she will want to make you attracted to her and she will lose weight. If she doesnt, she doesnt love you













Its a joke...
I think appryl hit the nail on the head regarding the other things that will define your relationship
post #15 of 161
Answer : NO !

As long as you don't look like mother and son, it's absolutely irrelevant...
If you like someone, from the bottom of your heart, shallow things will be very immaterial. The more so as this typical picture of man and wife ( M > w ), in modern times, is snow of yesterday !

If u think that you're too skinny ---> BODYBUILDING + CORRESPONDING NUTRITION !

If she thinks that she's a bit too chubby ---> RUNNING + DIET !

If you do it both FOR YOURSELVES ( Not primary to be to somebodys liking ), to feel as snug as a bug in a rug, it's fine ! But you can kill two birds with one stone, in order that you'll feel even more attracted to each other, than anyway.

There's not a single reason to doubt...
post #16 of 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Tee* View Post
As long as you don't look like mother and son

LMFAO
post #17 of 161
To me, looks matter. There must be attraction for me. And since weight is a component of that, yeah, for me it matters. But if you like her, then shit, act on feeling.
post #18 of 161
Weight can be factor, ONLY if it is out of control. Again, it can be easily lost so if you're genuinely attracted to her, this should not be a deciding factor.
post #19 of 161
I say go for it
post #20 of 161
I dated a guy who was skinnier than me for over 2 years. It had more to do with him being very skinny than me being fat but I still felt kinda like a cow next to him. He didn't seem to mind though.
post #21 of 161
I say you won't know how she or you truly feel about anything until you actually go out.
I dated a guy that was a couple of inches shorter then me, I thought nothing of it, but it really f*cked with his own confidence and so in the end, even though we got along really well, had the same group of friends, etc, he chose not to pursue the relationship due to "height".
LAME lame lame.
(his loss)
post #22 of 161
I think most girls are less concerned with appearance and comparisons of body type then guys. Our attraction is highly based on personality, character, charisma, etc. So if you're concerned she may not be into you because of appearance, that's probably not the case.

I'm taller than the average girl and I've dated my fair share of scrawny and short guys. We all got along just fine. I'd love to have some tall built guy that made me look dainty, but it's never happened and I'm not losing any sleep over it.

If you are really questioning this possible relationship because of appearance, you may want to look a little deeper to find out where your apprehension really lies.
post #23 of 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by twistedheart View Post
i'm doubting how much you actually like this girl, and truly questioning why she should even like you in the first place. the issue is how well you two work together in a relationship, not the physical appearance. i really truly hope you didn't mean what this post implies, because i've actually been told that i was "visually unappealing" since i was larger than the guy i was seeing. i may be bigger, both physically and emotionally...since i got over him and realized someone who actually bases anything worth debating on WEIGHT isn't worth a second thought.

the fact that people still consider this makes me sad



Sometimes the weight/health issue can relate to how well you work together though. I understand where you're coming from... but sometimes it isn't just the visual appeal that creates the barrier. I went away in October for Three months, I came back and my BF had put on about 35-40 pounds. from about 230-235 to 270. He stopped working out, he ate burger king for breakfast, lunch, dinner and evening snack. I love him, and he is not unappealing to me because he is fat but his weight is an issue for me. My father was very overweight growing up, if I did anything wrong my mother would say youre going to give him a heart attack and you'll have to live with it. I Begged him for 15 years to lose it, I poured my heart out to him and it took him 3 months when he finally did it last year. it could have saved him sooo much health problems. Taking care of yourself is important. I can't handle the thought of losing someone because they were too stubborn to listen, to lazy, too oblivious. Like I said I love my BF, I can't imagine being without him, but he's had a BP of 160/90 since he ws 16. he's overweight, out of shape, unhealthy. I've told him how much it hurt me that my dad didn't care enough to change, and I cannot and will not go through it with him too.


In terms of this post though, no I dont' think the girl would care if you are smaller. It's just appearances, what I mean in weight becoming an issue is that it can run deeper. Like you said, it's something you are definately aware of, but if you can see past it, why couldn't she?
post #24 of 161
hmm... in an ideal world I would say who cares

but in reality I can see it mattering. I'm pretty sure everyone here has been on a date, dated or married someone they didnt totally feel comfortable with in public. I remember dating this guy I was taller than it was kind of embarrassing but I really liked him and we got passed it and I never even thought twice about it. We ended up dating for 5 years.

I try not to date anyone I'm not comfortable with right way, at least not anymore.

Honestly though if you at least give it an honest attempt, especially if you really like her then at least you can tell yourself you tried maybe you'll forget all about the weight difference. Keep it casual and see what happens. If you can't do it then you two are probably better off not dating.


gotta be wroth a shot!
post #25 of 161
Go for it if you realy like her. My advice is also don't always judge someone by their weight cause I have seen some curvy girls eat healthy and care about their health while some skinny people eat absolute crap and not too concerned about their health.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Chat
DenimBlog.com › Welcome to the DenimBlog Community! › General Topics › Chat › Does weight matter a lot to you in a relationship?