Haha, excellent post. And by the way, I am a 20-something asshole dentist that demands $4000 from all his patients to tell them they have decay.
But, I don't feel sorry for you if you say things like "Time is precious and I have better things to do like pass out instead of brushing." I'm pretty sure you're just joking but hey, if you're not, come by my office and I will be willing to take that $4000 gladly! I got loans to pay off.